Sex is power

Many people have always said that 'Money is power' however, it is my belief that Sex is power. Sex has been the oldest profession known to man. Money has been what gives power , yes, however, this is mainly a male ideology. Yet, to me it was sex that allows you to have power over people, it can give fire for blackmail and it can also allow you to gather secrets.
However, I haven't come up with this idea without a shred of anecdotal evidence. I grew up in a traditionalist house. The kids were fed before Dad got home from work and dinner was on the table ready always. Even when Mum wasn't there to get it ready for him to walk in one of the kids would do it. Even if Dad would get in at 10:30pm. My mum married her first long-term boyfriend. My grandfather has always had dinner served for him, if my nan were to drop off of the face of the earth and he would starve. So in my family everything is like time stopped in the 1950s and that includes the morals which should be adopted by every member of the family. And one of those is be virgin until your married. However, sex if you use it right can be just as powerful when toying with people with the thought of sex or the denying of sex as the actual act. It also allows women to have power which contradicts things which only 30 years ago believed in. Because before 30 years ago it was believed that sex was mainly for the benefit of men and women get barely any satisfaction from it. Men demanded sex and raped their wives. It wasn't until the 1990s in England where it became illegal for spousal rape.

So there it is, sex has both negative and positive powerful representations  when it comes to power.

Does the L word mean the end?

So it seems when ever you drop the L bomb it seems to force an unintended ultimatum on the relationship.

Love; Does it cause a reciprocation which may elevate a relationship?
                                                 or
Does it cause a blatant ignoring of your existence as that is not why they are in the relationship and can lead to its near immediate demise. Yet, there still might be an even doucheier dude or chic who say "but I can learn to love you" or "may with time". Both meaning the same yet they come from different people, ones who are trying to comfort your emotions to get something or just someone who has convinced themselves that they need to be in love with you, they have already scrapbooked it but the bubble has popped and you don't fit into that silhouette.


Yet for me an emotionally unavailable and near damaged person I don't believe that love exists in anything but Rom-coms and perhaps in a chemical formula but does that mean those who are in love have this chemical formula down to an art. Sometimes I sit in a room and I can happily convince myself that I could be attracted to all of the men however, none give me a second glance. Should I do it like Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis who both were in films about relationships which were FWB (friends with benefits) who ended up loving each other, then Kutcher and Kunis decided to try a friend with benefits and ended up falling in love, so should I try this out?
I haven't even found a guy, who is single, who would want anything except a FWB relationship which is good but none want me. However, in my eyes relationships are over rated, my bio-parents got divorced when I was about 2 months old so I didn't really get the primary wave I just felt the aftershocks, then nearly all of my bio-dad's relationships have gone to tatters which has left me with a half-sister, a few step-mothers and an almost step-brother. So who was I supposed to model my monotrophic relationship on (the relationship which you use as a template for the rest of yours), obviously not my parents. Perhaps my brothers; he had many girlfriend until his early twenties when he settled down and got married and they are cute, or even my nan and Papa who have been married for 53 years which is slightly inspirational.


Yet, still none of my relationships last and then those who try and approach are creepy and even my friends tell me not to even reply to him.

So questions are:

To those who believe in love and has not told their other half how they feel does it mean the end?
Or for those who do not believe in Love what else is there apart from a FWB?

Anyone who has an answer I would love a response, pardon the pun.

Who's the Daddy?

The thing you have to know is my dad left when I was about 2 months old and being 6 years older than me my brother grew up with my dad. Then when my dad moved country my brother still went to see him several times.
Whereas, I have met him only about twice in my life. Which is why I have asked my brother if he can arrange a meeting between us. However, do I tell my mum and step-dad. My step-dad was the man who basically raised me so he may be offended and my mum hates his guts because he left her with a shitty house which was apparently ransacked of valuables and left with two kids as well , one being a 6 year old and one being a new born baby.
 


So what do I do?
Tell my parents who want understand why I want to meet my real dad and either be told not to go, for them to act like I'm a dick ?????

New idea to change my appearance

For those who know me, I like to think of ways to change my appearance every week and we'll this week's idea I am defiantly more sold on.


Bare in mind that I have medium brown hair, with a fringe. And according to my mum I am not allowed to dye my hair yet, dude I'm 17 only a couple months from being 18.

So I am wanting to bleach my fringe. Just to go blonde. But it will make a statement.
Much like the fact that I am getting new glasses tomorow and we'll they had to use frames of sunglasses because they were so out there. They are white. Unfortunately I was going to go for glow in the dark glasses but my cheekbones hold my glasses in place as they are high and we'll the gitd glasses would not fit.

Now I need to just approach my mum with the idea. My friends always support me and I'm pretty sure rhem imagine my mum to be some sort of dragon the way she turns down all of my proposition. But just let me do something.

Mother ;

I am not allowed to have more ear piercing than a lobe piercing because dad can't stand anything out there. You say that I can't dye my whole hair because you need money to keep it up as well as the chemicals on my head could cause bad things.




New update, she said no
Even newer update, I now have red hair which is cute to an extremely short bob, she still won't budge on the piercing though.

Being a TEENAGER!!!

So it's good that it has been a month since I have felt depressed however, there is one bad thing about it.



It has turned into rage or just anger. I got crappy as results I know but dad there is no need to remind me every time you have the chance.
Nan there was need to look disappointed.
Family can you stop tell each other behind my back how much I wont be going to college and how much of a let down I am in comparison to my cousin, who I did actually beat in results.
Dad stop going on about the fact that I haven't got a job, we live in a tiny village and there aren't enough businesses to suit needs of the jobless.
Dad stop telling me I am a liar when I am not and to think you think that is all who I am is not nice.
Dad stop comparing me to my biological father, he may have been a drunk, a cheat, an arse to mum and a liar but that is no grounds for you to compare him to me for many reasons :

A,. You've never met him

B, I've never truly met him

C, he isn't my dad

D, I did not grow up around him so I could not pick up behaviour from him

E, we all know you have a crappy job, with crappy lay, crappy hour with crappy responsibilities but there is no need to tell us about it every day or not tell us but act like a child

Tell you what I am a child who has anxiety which means I can cry when I get shouted at, exams kills me, I kill my exams (in the truly murdering sense, so much they are gonna test me for dyslexia), I have had a depressive state and I only told one person a friend and no one in my family picked up on it, my nan died but I could say good by because I had the friction chicken pox, I am constantly compared to my brother which I don't mind but people treat him like a failure as well, I never met my sister, I feel like my parents are more my grandparents at times, the fact that my grandparents won't be around forever makes me feel awful every time it's mentioned, teachers have always higher expectations which I don't meet, my best friend went through loss, a bad relationship while self harming and I felt helpless because it makes me cry every time I think that she could be hurt, no guys like me in a romantic way and my friend guys always just say it will take time and respect myself, well I am self conscious of my body /face/hair, I retaliate in ways to release anger by changing my appearance like colouring my hair with sharpies or shaving my hair or trying to tattoo myself.


Take any of the above and then say that I am a :

Lazy teenager
A liar
Good for nothing
Cheat
Drunk/budding alcoholic
Permanently happy

Yours the Teenage Teenager

Lost in...

     So as it happens life is not all it has cracked up to be. And by the way I'm not as depressive as that statement sounds. But it is true. Let's go to the start; firstly it was him. Name TBD. I fell for a man whom I knew I could have yet, he did not want me. He just simply used me as his plaything, at the start he truly meant it but towards the end all he felt was dominance and I felt concerned. One day it was like I woke up and knew in a type of Eureka-moment that it wasn't his heart which ruled his movements. So I left and did what any other woman in that situation would do. Start afresh.

     That is how I have come to write this, the tales of a woman who was lost in love, is lost in life and is going to be lost in the world; London, Lisbon or even New Orleans. Not in the sense that I need a really good map or that I should ask a person for directions but where I go to a city where I will be overwhelmed by its culture, it's people and most definitely, it's food.

Fashion isn't my forté

   I knew as soon as I saw her that this relationship would not end well. And to be frank, it didn't.

   I met Diane in a café on Broadway near Rector street for lunch. She had Louis Vuitton 4 inch strapped heels, a Calvin Klein pencil skirt with a rear slit and a blouse from Lagarfeld. All in all the only thing out of place when she sat on that chair was the chair itself.

   Yet, sitting opposite me was a person who ,in comparison to my hobo shique, look like a Channel size 0 front cover model. As I as wearing a Jack Wills jumper, cropped Jacques Very sail trousers which were high-waisted and was double-breasted type brass button with last year's McCartney's couture pumps.

  It was definitely clear in that moment that we were in two totally different worlds. A realistic one and a spring collection/Milan fashion week centred one.

        

                                                          ***

   As soon as you say down to read this highly detailed introduction you may have thought: "Are these two lovers?", "Am I reading a book which is orientated around fashion?", "Or is it just this writer like to leave little to the reader's imagination when coming up with a character idea?"

    Well, the true answer is, I don't know. Who does really? Do all good writers know the outcome of their story as soon as they start writing those opening words? Well, I don't and that's for sure and to be honest I probably never will.

   So you have been warned and I am sorry for this short interruption. I will not carry on with this very fortuitous tale.

    

                                                       ***

    So it turns out that Diane's clothing company, Stuart limited, needs a totally new pair of eyes for their new 'from bedroom to ball gown' , title may be changed or simply reversed, line which is set to be the key feature of May's front cover of 'In or Out?'.

    Which is why I as called in. Not only do I have degrees in Fashion and Fabric designs but my major in gossip/feminine journalism. So not only can I tell you what to wear and how to wear it but I can tell you how to display it on a magazine as to appeal to a variety of audiences.

Should of, would of, could of

  I had always thought I was missing something out in my life. When I was a young child I thought that this was because my parents had had a messy divorce. When I was in my teens I thought it was be CV ause my grandmother had died. However, it is now that I realise as I am in my late teens that it is the fact that I have no experience in love which is the true reaosn for my emptiness.

    Nothing. Nada. Nichego. Not a peck on the cheek or even an accidental brush past fondle. And don't get me wrong though, I do have crushes and confront them on it but just nothing happens.

     Well, I tell a lie, I did have a boyfriend. It lasted for about a day and it occurred when we both in Year 8. Not a time to have a relationship obviously. The only reason for breaking up with him was because I had butterflies and this nervous feeling made me feel ill. But, it does make me think, What would have happened if I stayed with him? Would I still be with him? Probably.

• My best-friend may still be with her boyfriend. 
• She would be still friends with half of our year.
• I probably wouldn't be a soppy girl practically paying a friend to make her a 'woman'.
• Yet, I wouldn't have the friends which I have today. And with that I wouldn't have this life.
• I would have a higher respect from the male population of my friends.
• I wouldn't probably be writing this.

However, non eof these points are true as I am not with that guy and who knows? It may effect the rest of my life in both negative and positive ways but, it may have been simply one of those get together which never actually count.   

Random stalker first page young adult fiction

Wandering around these lonely streets I could tell something was missing. Not the people because they would always be a constant. And not the place, I definitely was not lost. It was something which I was supposed to do today:


- Go to the bank,   Check
- Do the grocery shopping,   Check
- Pick up a stalker on the way home.


Oh wait. it was the fact that this last point was not on my original to-do list yet it still had worked it's way on there.
This was the only reason I dived into the shop, Close Encounters, though I was meaning to take an adventure in there, but only of my own accord.
     As it's title suggests it is a boutique, run by alien fanatic pot-heads with more 'ET' t-shirts than I could count and mini 'Mars Attacks' figures including a singing Tom Jones special edition which was un-opened.

Sponsored by....

So i'm pretty sure that the film The Wedding Date, is sponsored by Michael Buble. This is because every five minutes through the film, sad moments and happy moments there was a Michael Buble song which appeared. So that makes me wonder did this product placement help fund the movie? Did Buble get money to appear on the film? How does it work? 

Did it help boost his career? Though i'm pretty sure he was famous/ on magic radio before it appeared on this film.

I'm not saying this in a hating way bt-dubz cause I really do like to listen the Buble in a soapy bath, having a Buble bath. Hahaha.


Just after writing this yet, another Buble song has appeared .


Wait for it,..... even the credits have a Buble song.

Is originality dead?

So before I have said that perhaps nothing is original anymore so I am going to go through a list of films and to me they are similar or adaptations to others (I can't help it i'm board).

• 10 things I hate about you, 1999,  a clear adaptation of 'The Taming of the Shrew' by William Shakespeare.
• The Hot Chick, 2002, a spell made to a horrible person and they have til the full moon to change, 'Beauty and The Beast' and 'Cinderella'.
• The Girl Next Door, 2004, a guy falls in love with a girl who uses her 'assets' for a living, this must be 'Pygmalion' which adapted to 'Pretty Woman', 'My fair lady' and also it kind of has edges of 'Risky Business' the Tom Cruise Classic.
• Agent Cody Banks , 2003, I hate to says this as it is a brilliant film for me but it is a clear rip off of 'Spy Kids' just with slightly older kids.
• Walk to Remember,2002 and the book is 1999, I hate to criticise Nicholas Sparks on this but the template of guy is popular, girl is not, guy proves something to his friends at the start and then falls for the girl, girl is unique in her own way which is one of the qualities which the guy falls for. But, don't worry Sparks other films have this same plot; 'She's all that', '10 things I hate about you', 'The Duff' and 'Whatever it takes'.
• A film where a unpopular girl falls for the popular guy, battles it out with the queen bee who wants him as well and wins. Well, this could be 'The Duff', 'Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging', 'High school musical' and 'Odd Girl out'.
• Saved!,2004, a girl becomes pregnant and is then ostracized by all of her friends who turn on her. Well this could be the obvious 'Scarlet Letter' which could lead to the 'Easy A' which even within its plot refers to the common similarities to the Scarlet Letter. Though if we are minusing the ostracizing you could have 'Juno' on your hands.
• Staten Island Summer, 2015, two unlikely geek who have never rebelled in their lives decide to have an all out party. Wow, it seems like not only is this film plot repetitive but, it is so stereotypically teenager even I have started planning a surprise parents-are-out-party but, i'm still not ballsy enough to do it. So basically it is 'Superbad', a couple of the 'american pie's and i'm not sure but i'm pretty certain that 'Accepted' would definitely cross the barrier.
• Sydney White, 2007, a clear modern day adaptation of 'Snow White and the seven dwarves' as even she has seven people who when marching with picket signs sing 'Hi Ho'.
• Paper Towns, 2015 book written 2008, but, i'm pretty sure having a nerdy guy falling for the popular girl who takes him out for an extravagant night qualifies as 'I love you, Beth Cooper'.
•  17 again,2009, when a guy who is ungrateful with their life simply gets turned back into a younger self well I'm pretty sure on this front that this near enough exactly the same as '13 going on 30'.
• White Chicks,2004,so basically a cop dressing up a beautiful girl to protect some wealthy prettier girls well this seems like the 'Miss Congeniality' series.
• It's a boy girl thing,2006, when two people who detest each other accidently end up in each others bodies well this is basically 'Freaky Friday' though this time they try and truly ruin each other's lives.

Just to say I'm sorry if I have offended anyone its just I read a whole lot of book and you kind of notice how they try to deviate from the norms of that specific genre to which eventually create every book from that genre being the same deviation and I watch a lot of films which is why I find it easy to see the similarities. But, at the moment in this world all I want to see are the differences. What makes you unique from everybody else?

Shakespeare in films

When I first started GCSE Media my teacher told the class as a discussion topic 'Is anything original nowadays?' And so, 2 years after that I still compare every movie which I watch to others and grade their uniqueness. So here it is.

I fully understand the need for adaptations as they help bring a wider audience to books, plays and poems which if they were not updated would be left with the same rustic audience as originally designed for. However, as times change audiences change as well, especially their likes. For example, as a slightly weird teenager I quite like SHakespeare's plays especially his comedies. Which is why I always become more excited when yet another one of his plays are either adapted into a new styled version of the play or simple a hollywood film. to explain it better here are some of Shakespeare's plays:

Othello
Hamlet
Taming of the shrew
Romeo and Juliet
As you like it
Midsummer's night dream

Now here are the film adaptations of these plays:
Othello, with Kenneth Branagh, Michael sheen and Laurence Fishburne
Lion King
10 things I hate about you
Forbidden Planet
Romeo + Juliet
Gnomeo and Juliet
As you like it
Midsummer's night dream


I just felt that someone should say something as it is an anniversary of The Bard and therefore I did.

I'm not that depressed I swear

"I am drowning. Life is the alcoho which intoxicates me,school is the car and as a result I am going to crash my exams." ~Me

Now, I have watched and started reading 'How to be single' isn't a handbook or a 'dummy guide to' but, instead of pineing, I'm sorry if thats spelt wrong, for a guy. So now I know that I should enjoy the fact that I am single. So I am going to enjoy my life, tone myself into a better me. That is not because I think that I guy would date me only if I am skinny or just simply minus many pounds but I feel that doing 90-100 miles in 30 days this summer should be a good target. So I would like to clear it up, I am not as depressed as people may believe. Life is stressful as a student, as a female student and as a teenager.

Blotchy face

So I've played on top of my bed, feotus position, just thinking. Of my life. I have to tell you, so far it is astonishingly boring. No boyfriend, failing school, little potential, depressive outlook at the moment and crying to add on top i finished my favourite TV show 'Hart of dixie' and it has helped me live my life from being an 11 year old girl to a 17 year old one. I know it is unrealistic as it is a rom-com TV show but even Rachel Bilson's real life is perfect, husband ,Hayden Christensen, a good acting career, cute kid. 

What do I have; 3 best friends, infinite knowledge on books and films, mainly young adult, dystopian, romanceor  paranormal, and a really cute dog. 

It feels like life has ended. I know it hasn't but I don't talk to my friends like this, I vent about problems like character on TV shows and how the hottest guy in the world was in x,y and z.

So crying is my venting and listening to sadder music than usual except for Anna sun- Walk the moon, because that song is amazing and same for Last request - Paolo nutini

So recently I have come to accept that the only way I would get into university is if you could magically get an a-level by having knowledge about mild gaming, films and books, especially book which were made into film. Books like ;Love,Rosie, My sister's keeper, The mortal instrument, The Duff and Vampire Academy. I've read everyone and either watched the film, the TV show or am waiting for the film to come out to watch it. This is all because I am one of those girls who seemed smart through school because she hung around with those smarticle particle and magically pulled 8 above D grade from a hat but now at A-level may only get one above D and that would for, surprise surprise, media studies. 

I wanted to be a teacher of this said subject, yet all unis want hundreds of UCAS points which undoubtedly I will never ontain so I have chosen on going to pick an apprenticeship which will hopefully lead me into radio or journalism. I'm not talking about presenting radio1's live lounge or going to war-torn countries just to be printed on the front page. But to perhaps write the script for radio, maybe present a Midnight show on a nobody knows station or simply writing reviews of page 28. 

Yet, whenever I watch films like The Duff or Love, Rosie I gain artificial hope that I will get the guy even if I look like a slob or perhaps I may get a career in writing even though half of my life is sitting there trying to workout if I'm dislexic ornot, I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure I spelt that wrong, not ironically but seriously why make it difficult for those who can't spelt to spell a large word which most can't spell which means those who find it hard.

It's like the time when I was about 13, I watched the film Whip-ot and that whole year when people asked me what I wanted to do with my life I would say 'be a roller derby girl' despite the fact that I have no balance, refuse to even ice skate and am pathetically challenge in most departments. Sorry I'm still rambling. But still it prove my point that life gives you false hope, consumerism is basically buying false hope or just buying an escapism idea of a parallel universe where you could be that girl who gets the guy, the girl who get to go to university or the girl who gets her dram job. Sorry guys or non-genders, that tiny rant was about me and I'm a girl but please insert what you identify as in any of those spaces previously.

If you did scroll down to see more, I'm sorry for your disappointment but this was simply an illustration of my disappoint in a way which eager beaver or any other eager animal would understand. Sorry again for wasting your time with my melodramatic life and if you do know me, it's okay really, I will hopefully get that much needed E for Biology, Greys anatomy is really helping me and so is House, Scrubs and Sean.

Creative writing piece -The inevitable war

   When people in the old days told stories about Dragons, the green man, fae and lilith I thought they were just that stories. Now over 2 millennia later all those stories are true. It was the fear behind their names that brought them back into the radar of mass hysteria.

    One day you would see children playing in the field or going to school, the next they would be covering inside their crested homes hoping that their families wouldn't be next.

    Though our family would be an exception to this as always we are. Most families would be terrified and gossiping about forgotten myths. Whereas our, well ours would be training for the inevitable war. This was the war that had been the whispered prophecies for many years past since the first seer, Adam (youngfellow the open minded), had set his first thoughts on this deserted landscape of which we now all call home.

    Our family was one of the last seers in all magical existence. It is said that the child of the last king of fae and it's kinsman folk will rise from the swamps of Jagdhara with more than just the all seeing eye they will have powers of the elements telekinesis, mind control as well as the gift of healing. That child will marry one like Lilith and rule over all existence and will defeat all dark being. Though dark by mindset not by race. 

The British "Summer /Barbeque"

   Everyone knows that in England the summer weather only lasts a couple of weeks and you should never plan a barbeque for the following week because the weather forecast will let you down more times than Angelina Jolie has kids (That's six for any of you Brangelina fans you by being fans you should have known that already).

   So during this "Summer" my next door neighbours decided to have a barbeque with some mates. So it's boiling hot and I was sitting in my back room. They had started putting some meat on the grill when out of nowhere the heavens opened. I couldn't help but snicker. Little had I relaised as a true brit would do, they quickly put up a marquee around the barbeque. It be raining but it was still hot and that will never stop a british barbeque. 

So let that be a lesson to all non-british people out there;

• Never trust a weather forecast that goes for longer than 6 hours.
• Always prepare for the chance of rain even in a drought or heatwave.
• And finally never underestimate how far a Brit will go for the chance to light up their twice used 8 year old barbeque.

More wheels than a double decker bus

   At the moment most of my close friends are in relationships and some of them are just having one nightstands. But, I am one of the few singletons in our group for friends. So I often 'third wheel'. However, my friend Bry is in a relationship, my friend Elizabeth at the time was in a relationship as well as my friend Annie was in a relationship as well. So I, the single pringle, sat there with my friends and their boyfriends eating lunch and talking. This is when I started to wonder 'Does this really count as third-wheeling? It is more like seven-wheeling. My friend group at that moment in time had more wheels to it than a Double Decker Bus.

    So when I use the phrase 'third-wheeling' it is never literally for that number. Or in fact literally at otherwise you would end up with a car like the Robin Reliant from The Only Fools and Horses. 

     I've heard that in some American Dinner's they actually have 3 seating booths which is quite good until it gets to eating. Especially if they do the whole 'Lady and the Tramp' meatballs escapade  and the fact is that a string of spaghetti has only two ends not three.

   

Rainbow Trout in the Thames

How could I choose one person in a whole world of choices. Though to narrow it down for me, let's work it out.

• At 100% is all of the people over 16 and under 25 for a person like me who are not family because i'm not one of the characters from Game of Thrones .
• 50% of that are women and I like the opposite sex as much as you are insured that Bridget Jones is wearing her comfy granny pants.
• 10% that from that 50 are gay or count 
• 10% are married or are in a sort of relationship.
• 5% are popular people who would not look at me.
• 5% are popular people who would bully me or have bullied me.
• 10% are people around the world in countries I would never visit.
• 7% have already rejected me or have parted ways with me.

So in this world with 'plenty more fish in the sea'. I am limited to only rainbow trout in the thames estuary. I have a choice of 3% and I will only meet about 0.0002% of those men.

So when thinking with that formula added to my thoughts why is it that 3 men should come along at once?

The hesitation kiss

     You know when you're about to leave a person's presence and you have already said the million "well, I've got to go" 's and "Bye then" 's. You then sometimes lean in for the "either or " kiss the 'hesitation kiss'.
     This is when you go to lean in for a kiss on the cheek slightly slow. This becomes a kiss that you end up not knowing if that is a kiss a friend like a "moua" kiss, yet it may be a bit too overt as a friend. However, you could still use this to kiss a person whom may be more than just a friend, by hoping for them to just turn their head into a full kiss. 

Blah Blah Blah

I'm so sorry for the blabbering that you will read which is only down to your own fault. Yet, it is my blabber site. I may include satire, irony and sarcasm or even quotes from films, music and book but I will finally be putting my creative writing talent to use even if it is a blabber site. At least I have moved on from writing extremely powerful first page or first chapters of books which will never have a true plot determined for them and they will never be bound by any other cover but a mixture of zeros and ones in the binary system within my laptop.

Deep realisation 21/6/2015

       Have you ever noticed that one you have realised you have a crush on a person you start to either believe that the smallest directed smile may be a hint that they like you or you, for some weird reason, start to notice that special crush everywhere. You notice them more than ever before.  And I mean everywhere, with me it was around school, then on the high street or even in the local shopping centre.

 

      So here is my dual- hypothesis:

• You only notice more than usual because your chemical being received by the brain is overclouding all of the other moments you were to notice.

For example, instead of noticing all the exact people in a crowd, you only notice that one person. You then, believe that they are being close to you more often. But, instead of being near you more they are actually being around you just the same amount of time as always its just you are noticing their presence more.

• Also due to the overload of chemicals you don't just notice them more but, you notice their actions more.

For example, after the noticing of your crush in a crowd now you notice the small details. It could be when he smiles in a laugh that you thought was directed in your way as a flirtatious technique. A chuckle at one of your bad jokes, an annoying routine/ habit that have or only focusing on the good things they say like if they said "You're awkward, annoying but pretty" you would only notice the compliment.