Broken friendship, Broken Heart

So I had this best friend who I knew since I was about 3 years old. We met at nursery, was okay friends during school and then for me best friends in secondary school. So much so that we would swap jackets so I would get ot wear his jacket and he would have to wear my hoodie. But, it got to a point where everywhere he was there and well i couldn't help it but my friend love seemed to turn into more than that. We always flirted as most friends do but it just felt like somethign more.
I loved his quirks aswell like how despite loving hardcore like Marilyn Manson he absolutley loved ABBA. Or the fact that family is the most important thing of all, and how you could literally hear when he was getting pissed off in a text of no more than a few words.

So when I thought taking the plunge might pay off instead of not straight out confessing my feelings I thought best to get him to guess. however, throughout this conversation i have led hints and half way through, whilst seeming pissed, he confesses that he has started to go out with someone. Holy shitballs, best news of my life. Not.
It also has to be the girl who is the most annoying, prances around like a crazy person, stealing my friends and inserting herself into all of our relationships.
So obviously when the conversation carried on and he guessed himself I said no and threw a random name to the wind.
After that seemily fateful conversation we only saw each other a few times after that. Once i was filming a music video and asked him and two other friends to help. And he seemed to enjoy himself, for a while until he didnt. After that it was bumping into each other in a card shop and then at a house party.

So i thought as we are obviously trying to ignore the elephant in the room after the initial explosion id only contact him for birthdays or indeed I messaged him to find out his results. Well i got a thanks to the birthday and the no reply from the results, I had to find it out from his brother.
So i thought, lets leave it. But then after seeing him at the house party, the following year, I thought it would get easier so then that year's birthday greeting might improve.

Did it. Did it ever. Hell No. I sent the "Happy Birthday Dude".
My reply, (some on the lines of )
I dont want to speak to you ,
leave me alone.

Well as any upset friend would do, I told him to politely go do himself.

I saw him for about 30seconds after this and all i got was "Oh, I didnt see you there "
The story of my life.

Ever since starting to date the girl he has lost all but about 1 friend, failed things, quit jobs.

But, for me this is just another misadventure of the heart and the reason for me writing this is my dreams.
I keep having the same dream featuring him. Hes there with me, being my support which I needed him over the last few hard years. It was so happy. but when i woke up I was near enough in tears because I realised that unless there is a sheer miracle where he takes his head out of his arse. I will not get my best friend back, my hugger, my music chooser, my dude.

A Fumble in the Dark

So I set up this occasion that I was going to go to the cinema with my male friend, I was worried for a good month whether it was a date or not, it wasn't. But, I still fancy him anyway.
Anywhoo...
We have taken our seats and brought Oreo and Pink Pather biscuits with me and put them on my knee so if he wants any, they are there for him to munch on. The lights go down and I devour quite a lot. After an hour of the movie I am so engrossed in the film that I have forgotten that they are on my lap.
Then all of a sudden I feel a hand on my thigh, slowly moving its way down my leg to my knee. I'm thinking "Whoah nelly" but, its a definite way to start putting the moves on my leg. I'm getting excited and turn my head and see he's totally engrossed in the film. But suddenly I hear the rustle of something (an internal question mark pops into my head). That is when I realise and sit their feeling embarrassed in the dark, he was trying to get to the biscuits. And there he is munching on my oreos in a non euphemistic way. Lights go on, nothing, not a realisation to anything getting shirty. Thank God. We got the train back home, watching a Friends episode which it has the girls taking Chandler to a strip club, and me saying outloud (and realising afterwards there were more than just me and him on the train) "I'd like to go to a strip club, just to check it out. I hear there are good drinks and free buffets there."
I turn around and the chuckles from the other men on the train are almost photo worthy. Fortunatly , I decide to shut-up the rest of the journey home and we simply depart on our different paths with a slightly awkward hug. I personally am not a hugger anymore unless it is one of about 5 friends (he wasn't one).
So there you have it; my hyper awkward-for-only-me situation


Update:
After this we went out on a few non-dates like cinema outings and a day trip to walk around Windsor and have a pub lunch. Confirmation that it wasnt a date: He talked about the girls at UNI that he liked. But, looking at it I dont think it would have worked out in the long run anyway.