Who's the Daddy?

The thing you have to know is my dad left when I was about 2 months old and being 6 years older than me my brother grew up with my dad. Then when my dad moved country my brother still went to see him several times.
Whereas, I have met him only about twice in my life. Which is why I have asked my brother if he can arrange a meeting between us. However, do I tell my mum and step-dad. My step-dad was the man who basically raised me so he may be offended and my mum hates his guts because he left her with a shitty house which was apparently ransacked of valuables and left with two kids as well , one being a 6 year old and one being a new born baby.
 


So what do I do?
Tell my parents who want understand why I want to meet my real dad and either be told not to go, for them to act like I'm a dick ?????

New idea to change my appearance

For those who know me, I like to think of ways to change my appearance every week and we'll this week's idea I am defiantly more sold on.


Bare in mind that I have medium brown hair, with a fringe. And according to my mum I am not allowed to dye my hair yet, dude I'm 17 only a couple months from being 18.

So I am wanting to bleach my fringe. Just to go blonde. But it will make a statement.
Much like the fact that I am getting new glasses tomorow and we'll they had to use frames of sunglasses because they were so out there. They are white. Unfortunately I was going to go for glow in the dark glasses but my cheekbones hold my glasses in place as they are high and we'll the gitd glasses would not fit.

Now I need to just approach my mum with the idea. My friends always support me and I'm pretty sure rhem imagine my mum to be some sort of dragon the way she turns down all of my proposition. But just let me do something.

Mother ;

I am not allowed to have more ear piercing than a lobe piercing because dad can't stand anything out there. You say that I can't dye my whole hair because you need money to keep it up as well as the chemicals on my head could cause bad things.




New update, she said no
Even newer update, I now have red hair which is cute to an extremely short bob, she still won't budge on the piercing though.

Being a TEENAGER!!!

So it's good that it has been a month since I have felt depressed however, there is one bad thing about it.



It has turned into rage or just anger. I got crappy as results I know but dad there is no need to remind me every time you have the chance.
Nan there was need to look disappointed.
Family can you stop tell each other behind my back how much I wont be going to college and how much of a let down I am in comparison to my cousin, who I did actually beat in results.
Dad stop going on about the fact that I haven't got a job, we live in a tiny village and there aren't enough businesses to suit needs of the jobless.
Dad stop telling me I am a liar when I am not and to think you think that is all who I am is not nice.
Dad stop comparing me to my biological father, he may have been a drunk, a cheat, an arse to mum and a liar but that is no grounds for you to compare him to me for many reasons :

A,. You've never met him

B, I've never truly met him

C, he isn't my dad

D, I did not grow up around him so I could not pick up behaviour from him

E, we all know you have a crappy job, with crappy lay, crappy hour with crappy responsibilities but there is no need to tell us about it every day or not tell us but act like a child

Tell you what I am a child who has anxiety which means I can cry when I get shouted at, exams kills me, I kill my exams (in the truly murdering sense, so much they are gonna test me for dyslexia), I have had a depressive state and I only told one person a friend and no one in my family picked up on it, my nan died but I could say good by because I had the friction chicken pox, I am constantly compared to my brother which I don't mind but people treat him like a failure as well, I never met my sister, I feel like my parents are more my grandparents at times, the fact that my grandparents won't be around forever makes me feel awful every time it's mentioned, teachers have always higher expectations which I don't meet, my best friend went through loss, a bad relationship while self harming and I felt helpless because it makes me cry every time I think that she could be hurt, no guys like me in a romantic way and my friend guys always just say it will take time and respect myself, well I am self conscious of my body /face/hair, I retaliate in ways to release anger by changing my appearance like colouring my hair with sharpies or shaving my hair or trying to tattoo myself.


Take any of the above and then say that I am a :

Lazy teenager
A liar
Good for nothing
Cheat
Drunk/budding alcoholic
Permanently happy

Yours the Teenage Teenager

Lost in...

     So as it happens life is not all it has cracked up to be. And by the way I'm not as depressive as that statement sounds. But it is true. Let's go to the start; firstly it was him. Name TBD. I fell for a man whom I knew I could have yet, he did not want me. He just simply used me as his plaything, at the start he truly meant it but towards the end all he felt was dominance and I felt concerned. One day it was like I woke up and knew in a type of Eureka-moment that it wasn't his heart which ruled his movements. So I left and did what any other woman in that situation would do. Start afresh.

     That is how I have come to write this, the tales of a woman who was lost in love, is lost in life and is going to be lost in the world; London, Lisbon or even New Orleans. Not in the sense that I need a really good map or that I should ask a person for directions but where I go to a city where I will be overwhelmed by its culture, it's people and most definitely, it's food.

Fashion isn't my forté

   I knew as soon as I saw her that this relationship would not end well. And to be frank, it didn't.

   I met Diane in a café on Broadway near Rector street for lunch. She had Louis Vuitton 4 inch strapped heels, a Calvin Klein pencil skirt with a rear slit and a blouse from Lagarfeld. All in all the only thing out of place when she sat on that chair was the chair itself.

   Yet, sitting opposite me was a person who ,in comparison to my hobo shique, look like a Channel size 0 front cover model. As I as wearing a Jack Wills jumper, cropped Jacques Very sail trousers which were high-waisted and was double-breasted type brass button with last year's McCartney's couture pumps.

  It was definitely clear in that moment that we were in two totally different worlds. A realistic one and a spring collection/Milan fashion week centred one.

        

                                                          ***

   As soon as you say down to read this highly detailed introduction you may have thought: "Are these two lovers?", "Am I reading a book which is orientated around fashion?", "Or is it just this writer like to leave little to the reader's imagination when coming up with a character idea?"

    Well, the true answer is, I don't know. Who does really? Do all good writers know the outcome of their story as soon as they start writing those opening words? Well, I don't and that's for sure and to be honest I probably never will.

   So you have been warned and I am sorry for this short interruption. I will not carry on with this very fortuitous tale.

    

                                                       ***

    So it turns out that Diane's clothing company, Stuart limited, needs a totally new pair of eyes for their new 'from bedroom to ball gown' , title may be changed or simply reversed, line which is set to be the key feature of May's front cover of 'In or Out?'.

    Which is why I as called in. Not only do I have degrees in Fashion and Fabric designs but my major in gossip/feminine journalism. So not only can I tell you what to wear and how to wear it but I can tell you how to display it on a magazine as to appeal to a variety of audiences.

Should of, would of, could of

  I had always thought I was missing something out in my life. When I was a young child I thought that this was because my parents had had a messy divorce. When I was in my teens I thought it was be CV ause my grandmother had died. However, it is now that I realise as I am in my late teens that it is the fact that I have no experience in love which is the true reaosn for my emptiness.

    Nothing. Nada. Nichego. Not a peck on the cheek or even an accidental brush past fondle. And don't get me wrong though, I do have crushes and confront them on it but just nothing happens.

     Well, I tell a lie, I did have a boyfriend. It lasted for about a day and it occurred when we both in Year 8. Not a time to have a relationship obviously. The only reason for breaking up with him was because I had butterflies and this nervous feeling made me feel ill. But, it does make me think, What would have happened if I stayed with him? Would I still be with him? Probably.

• My best-friend may still be with her boyfriend. 
• She would be still friends with half of our year.
• I probably wouldn't be a soppy girl practically paying a friend to make her a 'woman'.
• Yet, I wouldn't have the friends which I have today. And with that I wouldn't have this life.
• I would have a higher respect from the male population of my friends.
• I wouldn't probably be writing this.

However, non eof these points are true as I am not with that guy and who knows? It may effect the rest of my life in both negative and positive ways but, it may have been simply one of those get together which never actually count.   

Random stalker first page young adult fiction

Wandering around these lonely streets I could tell something was missing. Not the people because they would always be a constant. And not the place, I definitely was not lost. It was something which I was supposed to do today:


- Go to the bank,   Check
- Do the grocery shopping,   Check
- Pick up a stalker on the way home.


Oh wait. it was the fact that this last point was not on my original to-do list yet it still had worked it's way on there.
This was the only reason I dived into the shop, Close Encounters, though I was meaning to take an adventure in there, but only of my own accord.
     As it's title suggests it is a boutique, run by alien fanatic pot-heads with more 'ET' t-shirts than I could count and mini 'Mars Attacks' figures including a singing Tom Jones special edition which was un-opened.